Home Register Blogs FAQ Wiki Usergroups Support TCP Log in  
The Critical Poet Forum Index » Critique and Revision The time now is Fri Sep 10, 2010 9:03 pm
Reply to topic    empty bottle
empty bottle
xkillxmonroe
New Member

Joined: 16 Oct 2009
Posts: 19
Location: Bear, DE
Post Posted: Sat Feb 06, 2010 11:29 pm Reply with quote
Swallow
      empty the bottle
    maybe this will be
    your endless slumber
     I, welcome you death

           Collapse  
            feel the
   neverending breaths
           disappear

         Shhh...

 This is what you wanted
       Don't wake up.

[Poem or not... just something that I needed to let out]

_________________
sleepless nights, awaken the depths of emotional weakness.
View user's profileFind all posts by xkillxmonroeSend private message
Re: empty bottle
deepwaters
New Member

Joined: 31 Jan 2010
Posts: 37
Post Posted: Wed Feb 10, 2010 6:34 pm Reply with quote
xkillxmonroe wrote:

[Poem or not... just something that I needed to let out]


xkill-

Nice to meet you. The above comment makes it sound like you are not seeking critique, but then this is in the critique forum. So, I am a little confused as to what you are seeking. I wonder if that's why this has not received comments, as to others are also confused.
View user's profileFind all posts by deepwatersSend private message
re: empty bottle
Lind:SAY
New Member

Joined: 13 Mar 2007
Posts: 42
Location: Portland, OR
Post Posted: Wed Feb 10, 2010 9:17 pm Reply with quote
R u okay?

Yes, I too, am confused.
Would you like a critique on the poem, or the state of mind the poem suggests?
Or was this merely an expression of the mood of the moment?
hmmmmm.....
View user's profileFind all posts by Lind:SAYSend private message
re: empty bottle
xkillxmonroe
New Member

Joined: 16 Oct 2009
Posts: 19
Location: Bear, DE
Post Posted: Sat Feb 13, 2010 1:59 pm Reply with quote
Sorry I should of let that last comment out. And, yes. I am okay Smile

_________________
sleepless nights, awaken the depths of emotional weakness.
View user's profileFind all posts by xkillxmonroeSend private message
empty bottle
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum
 		All times are GMT  
Page 1 of 1  
  
  
 Reply to topic     
The Critical Poet Forum Index » Critique and Revision The time now is Fri Sep 10, 2010 9:03 pm
The Critical Poet topic RSS feed 
All work posted here is under copyright by the original poster. Users may not upload materials to The Critical Poet if they are not the original author or copyright holder of that work, or if that posting constitutes a violation of US or local laws.
Material on this website may not be published or reprinted elsewhere without permission of the owner.
Powered by phpBB © phpBB Group
Design by phpBBStyles.com | Styles Database.
Content © The Critical Poet