Revision

That night the Poets declared
we were no longer free to dream;
I dreamt of you

even though I knew
I would die for it.

Original

That night the Government declared
we were no longer free to dream;
I dreamt of you

even though I knew
I would die for it.

Hi weaver

I like this. I think you've managed to say 'I'd die for you' whilst avoiding the cliche. And you've left out any waffle - hurrah for brevity!

I wasn't sure about the title though - it seems a bit stilted in comparison with the passion of the poem. Not that I have a better suggestion.

Thanks, Amanda

Thank you Amanda

I agree with you on the title, hmmmmm, I do need a new one!  I'll have to think about that - perhaps it should be "Orwellian"  or "Orwell, realized"

Cheers, and you're right, no waffle!

W

re-titled, I think that sums up my thoughts, thank you again, I knew it wasn't right.

W

Yes. The new title is perfect.

(sigh) You must be getting tired of me telling you how wonderful I think your poems are, weaver. lol.

Completely unique way of saying "I would die for you".

Reminds me of poets in exile for their writing, too. A poet dreaming of the freedom of writing her poetry, even though she may die for it. The original title suggested that. But, "Immunity" implies that, too. And, it is a word that can have many meanings, depending how you read it. Immunity from evils, or seeking immunity.

Love the poem.  

This has been revised thanks to careful prodding by Bocephus on another forum.

Cheers

W

Ha ha! (trailing off laughter. . .bemused look. . .)

Do you know the song Poets by Tragically Hip?

"Don't tell me that they're anti-social / Maybe not anti-social enough"

Yeah, Poets is a better choice.

E-