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The Critical Poet Forum Index » Critique and Revision The time now is Fri Sep 10, 2010 9:02 pm
Reply to topic    Due North
Due North
weaver
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Joined: 01 Jul 2005
Posts: 6577
Post Posted: Mon Feb 08, 2010 5:14 am Reply with quote
I watch them
how they flip their hair
and smile a little crookedly
knees pointed like needles
of a compass towards due

north - bound towards your deep
woods sticky with pine tar
damp mulch and the magic
of mushrooms caught in shade
beneath tall trees

My laughter becomes a brook
across a clearing -
few tend to leave the woods


Last edited by weaver on Tue Feb 09, 2010 3:00 am; edited 1 time in total
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re: Due North
The Thief
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Joined: 18 Mar 2009
Posts: 249
Post Posted: Mon Feb 08, 2010 8:20 pm Reply with quote
Great ending
I keep reading Tarry not as tar-ry by as 'stay' or 'wait'
mind you that fits with 'few tend to leave the woods'!
knees like 'need'les of a compass- great!
fun words throughout to roll around in

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re: Due North
weaver
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Joined: 01 Jul 2005
Posts: 6577
Post Posted: Tue Feb 09, 2010 2:58 am Reply with quote
Hey you!

I keep reading tarry as that as well, must change it up!

Glad you enjoyed rolling about in the words, that is the goal, no?

Sometimes people make me laugh with their predictability, this poem sort of is a tribute to that predictability.

haha!  I will never change.

W

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re: Due North
weaver
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Joined: 01 Jul 2005
Posts: 6577
Post Posted: Tue Feb 09, 2010 3:00 am Reply with quote
woods sticky with tar pine

substituted line.

Thanks!

W

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re: Due North
Rosa
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Joined: 25 Jul 2008
Posts: 568
Post Posted: Tue Feb 09, 2010 10:23 pm Reply with quote
Rolling Eyes Well, it's the magic mushrooms that making you laugh, weaver. LOL.

I read it as the forest talking about knobby-kneed poets who tread through it all the time.  Hm.  I was close.  Smile

This was fun to read, weaver.
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re: Due North
The Thief
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Joined: 18 Mar 2009
Posts: 249
Post Posted: Wed Feb 10, 2010 2:26 pm Reply with quote
It's when you can't see the wood for the knees!!!

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re: Due North
jc
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Joined: 20 Feb 2007
Posts: 318
Location: Mena, Arkansas
Post Posted: Wed Feb 10, 2010 3:30 pm Reply with quote
Ahhh... true "weaver" stuff!
ambiguous and metaphoric...
this is primal and charming,
can't wait for the rewrite...please don't let this one get away!!

Wink  can you tell that I am very interested to see how this ends up??

jc

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