everything soft and subtle
is lost in my pale cheeks

I walk like I'm haunting this planet
a glow of starlight decorates my head
a hazy mist covers my body

I cannot feel the touch of flesh
only gusts of wind
that are born from a lion's roar

even the old field where my childhood sings lullabyes
cannot offer me silence
I go there and see my tanned mother
pushing me on a swing
that launched me into adulthood too soon

Hi, Octo

I haven't read a poem from you in quite awhile. I see you haven't lost your unique voice.

My suggestions are ...

definitely get rid of  ... a hazy mist covers my body,

and start a new strophe with ... I go there and see my tanned mother.

Also, it should be lullabies.


I really like this poem! Thanks.


Maria